RICK'S BIG TRIP page 7
Now, let’s get back to something of cultural significance. The Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. This is the one that mixes old art with a healthy dose of Dutch history, two subjects I usually find very interesting. So why was I so bored looking at row after row of obsolete masterpieces? Well, they weren’t all really masterpieces – lots of portraits and crafts. Great furniture, by the way. To tell the truth, I was just too darn tired on that day, after all my travelling and adventures, to extend myself to Dutch History… Nevertheless – I did find some pieces of particular interest. Here, for instance, is a portrait of the Dutch king, mid 19^th century, painted by a Japanese artist who didn’t have a clue what the King of Holland might look like. Oh yeah, they knew that the Dutch color was orange, so he’s got three oranges on his head. Nice picture though, sort of reminds me of something out of Yellow Submarine.
And this is a masterpiece, Rembrandt’s the Night Watch (sort of loses something in the translation: the Dutch Nachtwacht kind of rhymes). Will someone please tell me what is the big frickin’ deal about this painting? Looks to me like a bunch of guys goin’ about their business and then for no particular reason there’s an unnaturally lit-up girl running around. Go figure. Anyway, I saw it, and so did all these folks. You can’t say I didn’t see it. I did.
Now, let’s take a look at something we can all relate to, something by the great Flemish flesh master Rubens. What we have here is a very old man, half naked, chained to a wall, giving lip service to a woman’s bear breast. Sort of looks like he’s blowing – but that doesn’t make sense – and I’m not sure if she’s turning away as a gesture of passion of just doesn’t want to look! One other important feature I didn’t quite capture: There are two men looking with wide eyes in the window at the upper right corner. This painting is awfully symbolic of something awfully important. Reminds me a little of that scene from Midnight Express. But remember, these things used to hang in rich people’s dining rooms and the like. Appetizing. Nevermind the Night Watch – somebody please explain this one to me!
Now here’s a nice breast-oriented painting from the early 15^th century that needs no explanation. It is clearly labelled “Allegory on Nature as the Nurturer of the Arts.” See that guy there with the fiddle in his hand? He’s The Arts – probably reminds you of a few young sensitive artist types you know yourself. And the gal there with the foliage in her hair? Well, she’s Nature, you nitwit! So, it would seem she’s nurturing our boy a bit. OK, that’s nice, but let’s get the details:
You can’t really see the white cartoon-like “spray lines” in this photo – but you can see a few droplets. In case you missed the nurturing feeling from the distant view, what we have here is a case of extraordinary metaphor milking. Our Lady of the Elements is actually squeezing her breast, literally spraying milk on our lad’s violin. Kind of touching, don’t you think?
Oh well, back at home – that’s my place in Utrecht – I did a little painting myself. Go ahead and laugh, I deserve it after being so inconsiderate to the Masters. This is a typical Rick type of flowing thing with interesting textures that comes into a neat curlicue.
And this is a painting taken from a really very lovely photograph of the baby Tjomme. Maybe you haven’t seen me paint this kind of thing very often.
Jumping around here – remember what I was telling you about parking your bike in the Netherlands, and what you don’t want to happen to it? Well, here’s one a little further along in the process of decay. Notice that the frame of the bike is still securely chained to the bicycle rack. No seat, no wheels, a mere skeletons of the saddle bags in back. Alas, such is life; such is death. Now be careful with your bicycle next time!
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