RICK'S BIG TRIP page 15 Next day I was ready to stand in line at the Louvre. I loved the Louvre, it was so full of old paintings – from all of those old guys. And not just samples, but I thought, really nice collections. It was worth the wait.
	You know how I love good food. And when I’m in France, I feel like I’m not the only one – everybody understands that good food is important. This painting is an overly explicit celebration of just that – heavenly cuisine. See the surprise in the fellows on the left? See the illuminated monk floating Ghost-Busters-style in utter rapture? These gentlemen have unexpectedly walked into the Kitchen of the Angels. Can’t ya just smell those cakes a-bakin’?
For all of my friends who loved that dismal, patronizing and downright boring film Slingblade, here’s something I think you’ll also like: This is the patron saint of people who have their head’s split open by cleaver-wielding maniacs. You see he’s a bit grim; his face is still grey with death – but he’s risen again in the afterlife to pay tribute to all that is holy in the Catholic church. Amen.
Yes, you know, I did love the Louvre – I mean it! – but since I can’t show you the glory of truly remarkable paintings on these little thumbnail sketches, let’s look some more at the cultural legacy of a centuries-old oppressive church. For one thing, you’ve got a whole lot of so-called Virgin Mary shots. And you can tell, the poor girl is tired of having her picture taken. Another portrait? Ho-hum, alright, wave to the shepherds, Baby Jesus. Yeah, OK Mom. Another gal-pal saint stands by, equally unimpressed.
Here’s a long honored motif that never made it big in the States, but it’s pretty common in those old life-of-Jesus pic’s. Everybody knows Jesus was Jewish, right? Well of course it follows that he was the victim of this common brutal penis mutilation rite. He seems to be taking it very well, of course you know, that’s his way. The child below looks on with sensible apprehension.
There’s those monkeys again! And they’re definitely stealing the fruit! Shoo, monkeys – leave that fruit alone! That’s for people – you go get your bananas out of a tree!
So I’m at the Louvre and you wanna see the old Joconde, a.k.a., the Mona Lisa, do you? Well there she is, in a crowd of people, flashing their cameras straight-on into the glass (which will give them a good reflection of their flashbulbs), and just revelling in the fact that they’re seeing something famous. It was a lovely picture, and she seemed to take her excessive fame with perfect composure. But alas, with all the crowding and camera flashing, it wasn’t really possible to settle in and really look at the portrait. Another candle in the wind.
On the way to the too-famous-for-her-own-good Mona Lisa, most people passed right by the other fine works by DaVinci. The soft warmth of his brushwork is unequalled, even in the Louvre. At the right, you see a portrait of Robert Plante, about to start the 3^rd verse of the renaissance favorite, Stairway to Heavy Oppressive Catholic Heaven.
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